July 8th, 2021 (12:55)

It takes some time for my vision to adjust when I arrive. Slowly I begin to recognize the feminine Gray. Clad in glasses and a loose, flowing blouse that is slightly translucent when scrutinized. I tell her I am more comfortable if she presents herself in her actual form. The disguise disappears and I’m surprised to see that even without the apparel, she still maintains some feminine features, yet I cannot pinpoint what they are. Am I mistaken? Is it just the feminine energy she exudes that makes me believe she looks different? Their gender may or may not be an inherent aspect of the species. Is it just another illusion applied to make these interactions more comfortable for us?

Knowing that these questions are swirling about in my head, she explains that while they are not male and female for the purpose of reproduction, it is important for them to maintain both masculine and feminine individuals. Frustratingly, the reason it is important goes unsaid. She takes me to the nursery. There is no one else here. Having a lot of trouble staying present. She tells me I have time to do whatever I need to make myself more comfortable. Despite efforts to focus on our surroundings, my mind wanders, and similar to my experience with the mantis, thoughts come in and out of my head at a rapid speed. Nothing remains in my head long enough to capture the moment. This process is extremely disorienting. Although it seems only a minute or two has passed, closure pulls me out.

-Pete